American Fitness Professionals & Associates

By: Teri R Gentes -Wellness Educator and PractitionerWe all talk about it, long for it, strive for it and often we unknowingly sabotage ourselves of it.  What is it about this apparent Holy Grail and why do so many people feel it eludes them?

Marketers tell us we will find it with their miraculous products.  Decades, actually centuries of song lyrics and poems proclaim success finding happiness and wholeness with another.  Even more songs tell of how tragedies of lost love and ended relationships are the cause of unbearable heartache and sorrow.

Like a possession to secure or a certain special soul to locate, we are conditioned to believe the path to happiness is something or someone ‘out there.’  In this domesticated state, most people believe it to be true and search high and low for the perfect home or car or mate….   Occasionally there comes the feeling “yes I have it!” all to frequently followed with the realization it is not quite right – something is still missing.

 Perhaps because objects become obsolete and even the most enduring, sustaining and holiest union has its lulls, setbacks, compromises and challenges.  When we can grasp that happiness is not a person, a place or a thing, we are on the path.  
When we can accept that happiness is the process, it is the path, then our perspective on this ‘state’ will no longer elude us.

Consider: happiness is an emotion, an attitude, a state we choose.  It is one we generate within our very own selves.  
Just as sadness is our emotion expressed in response to events and circumstances that we are not happy with, this emotion is merely the other end of the spectrum, a way for us to describe the absence of happiness.  Acknowledging that each of these emotions is acceptable, real, and each has a purpose, is our path to peacefulness and in peacefulness, there is happiness.

The secret is not outside of our selves.  The answers, that path to peacefulness lies within our very own heart – within the very essence that is each of us.  Just as the world is a gift to you, you too are a gift to the world.  Your very presence has a divine purpose.  You have a divine purpose.  

Tune into this, discover what this is, accept this, be this, and your life experience will be profound, purposeful, and peaceful, even in the midst of chaos.

There is Nothing- No Thing that will bring you happiness and success like that experienced when living life fully and joyfully embracing your own skin and all that you are intended to be and do.  The secrets, the answers reside within our own hearts and you, only you can discover this, know this, choose this, for yourself.

Take the time to tune inward and pay attention to yourself.  Get that every truly good thing you do for yourself is a gift to the world.  It is peaceful, happy souls that reflect their inner peacefulness outward and positively affect the world around them.  We do not need to retreat to peaceful places for inner tranquility, each of us can create this heavenly sanctuary within our very own heart.  Embrace yours, honor yours, cherish yours and experience the blessings, peacefulness and happiness all around you.  

Happiness begins with compassion for self, acceptance of self, and responsibility for self.  The most important relationship we have is with ourselves.  It begins with self-care and awareness of our every breath, every thought, every word and every action.  
Our breath and our thoughts are food for our mind, body, heart and soul.  Our words and our actions are our exercise.

Though they have the power to sustain us or detain us, most people don’t give much thought to their thoughts.  Unconsciously people move through the minutes of each day believing they are in pursuit of peace and joy and love yet they rarely breathe a full and energizing belly deep breath and exhale in release and surrender.  Their thoughts, self talk and shared conversation far too often unconsciously impose limitations on the very objectives or state they desire. Consider how often you hear or speak such words as “It’s so hard”, “I can’t help myself”, “oh, I am so forgetful”, “I always get this wrong”, “nothing ever goes my way”, “I have a bad back”….  

Humans have adopted a self-defeating habit of doom forecasting or sending out negative messages such as…”don’t forget”, “I can’t begin to”, “careful you don’t slip”, “don’t be late”…  Rather than focusing on the negative and what we do not want, we need to reprogram our self-talk, become aware of our patterns of speech and focus on our desires and longings and hopes and dreams.
It begins with knowing our self and choosing to honor our very worthy soul whole-heartedly. The following questions are meant to stimulate your mind, offer food for thought and a path to self-love for this is the way to finding and attaining and sustaining happiness.

Reprogramming our thoughts and words and actions:

Ask yourself what type of people do you most enjoy being around.  Are you this type of person – do you enjoy your own company?  Are you your own best friend? Do you know who you are? Do you love who you are?  Taking the time to know yourself – to know what is in your heart is the heart of the matter.
So just what is in your heart?  What is in your head?  Are you there?  Just who are You?  

Can you describe yourself without referring to what you do for a living, what your marital status is, how many kids you have, where you live, what your childhood was like?  Just who are you as an energy being outside of the roles you have?  Beyond of all the out side stuff, what stuff are you made of?  
What are your passions and joys and pleasures and pains?  What brings you profound joy, peace, serenity and security?  

Do you know, is it as clear as day?  Have you taken the time to truly recognize and acknowledge what brings you the peacefulness and happiness you claim to want?  Are you practicing this? If yes, how often? If not, what excuses are you making?  

What brings you pain, stress, and sorrow?  Are you subjecting yourself to this?  If so, how often do you do so and why?  

Really listen – tune into all of your responses to these question s and the reasons you may have for any shortcomings you have with yourself.  It is said excuses are “The most crippling failure disease.”  It is negative self imposed limitations or self-denial that we unconsciously subject ourselves to.  Perhaps it comes back to feelings of unworthiness and happiness is something we all need to accept we are worthy of – it is a birth gift.

Be aware of your own thoughts, your own words, and your actions.  Are you doing enough, everything you can, to be the best you can be?  If not, it is important to determine why not.  Back to “what makes you happy?”  If your answer to this question is followed with “I don’t have time, I am so busy doing all the things that I have to do even though it stresses me out…” My next question for you is to ask you what really matters most to you?  How can you take care of this if you are not strong and stable and happy and peaceful within your self?

We must learn to accept and embrace our need to feel worthy, worthy of being our self, entirely, intimately and completely.  

Accept that we are worthy of doing what we need to do to self-nurture.  We can begin by reprogramming those automatic responses and reactions that are not bringing us peace inspiring, to those that bring us a sense of peacefulness and happiness.  Each and every step – every thought and word and action we have that supports us on our path to peacefulness is a step in the right direction.

The more we practice mindful loving care of our selves the more peaceful and happy we become.  

We take better care of others when we take better care of ourselves and we are more loving and peaceful souls as a result.  
It is this very state we project out into the world and in leading by example and being a more peaceful soul we create a more peacefulness upon this earth making it a more peaceful place to be.  This is the way to sustained happiness.  May you make it your way.

Teri R Gentes  www.terigentes.com teri@terigentes.com